Friday, April 5, 2013

The Bells of St. John

DOCTOR WHO IS BACK!!!!! That needs to be emphasized.

As always, SPOILERS are below.

So we start off with a very ominous warning about the wi-fi and see people being downloaded and not knowing where they are. Very creepy, nice opening. I liked the mini-twist that answered the question I had about how the guy giving the warning knew to warn people.
 ┓┏ 凵 =╱⊿┌┬┐ <- don't click on this wifi name!

Then we get to see the new titles again. I like the new titles. I know a lot of people don't, but I do. Maybe it's because my first Doctor Who experiences were with the original series and the titles are reminiscent of that, I don't know.

Anyway, we are now in 1207 at some random monastery  After some talk of a "mad monk" it's reveal that *shocker* the monk was the Doctor. Because no one saw that coming. Also, it took me way longer than it should have to figure out what "Bells of St. John" meant.

Then zoom we're in the present where Clara is trying to get on the wifi, after discussing it with kids who she isn't the mother too. The Dad says something about giving her the night off so she's probably the nanny. Dun dun dun. Oh and there's a book called "Summer Falls" by Amelia Williams in which chapter 11 is the best and the boys on the cover look like Sherlock and John. Subtle Moffat, really subtle.

Anyway, she's on the phone to a help line, trying to get connected to the wifi, which has weird red spots in it. As she calls waiting for someone to pick up, the TARDIS phone rings. The one on the outside, that 9 called a dummy phone. This by the way, was when I figured out what "Bells of St. John" meant. There's a funny communication about calling a different time zone. Also, Clara mentions that she got the number from a women in a shop. At first I thought it was River but given this I think it may be someone else. Someone who we know used to work in a shop.

The Doctor provides exasperated tech support. That is until Clara says her dying words to remember the wifi password. Except Clara is an idiot because she can't figure out how to type the password correctly. Then she clicks the bad wifi. But she leaves to answer the door where the Doctor has appeared still dressed as a monk. She doesn't know who he is, or have the middle name Oswin. Dun dun dun. They say Doctor Who a lot, and she does the smart thing and shuts the door in his face. As you do when a mad man shows up at your door.

We see the bad guys, who have the best exchange ever.
Boss: I'm ever so fond of Alexi but I feel we should probably kill him.
Flunkie: I'll alert HR.
Boss: He's about to go on holiday. Wait until he gets back. Let's not be unreasonable.

Anyway, they plan on uploading Clara. Boss fiddles with Lacky's emotions on a tablet (I want that app) and we're back to the Doctor and Clara for another great exchange.
Doctor: I was on my mobile phone.
Clara: When you say mobile phone, why do you point at that blue box?
Doctor: Because it's a surprisingly accurate description.

She hear and ominous noise and gets attacked by the girl from the cover of the book from earlier. Except she's actually a spoonhead and zaps Clara. Meanwhile, the Doctor is changing into normal non-monk clothes, so he has to run in and save her just in the nick of time by computer hacking. The bad guys are very surprised he can do this. He sends them a little note. "Under my protection" -The Doctor. The Boss contacts the anonymous big bad *coughGreatIntelligencecough* who has warned her about the Doctor.

The Doctor then goes on the be the best caregiver ever. Next time I'm sick/injured/unconscious after attempted alien abduction, I want him to take care of me. He also rummages through her stuff including a book of places to see that she's apparently owned since she was nine, but didn't own at ages 16 or 23. There is a leaf in the book. He licks it. It's okay that he does these things because cookies. She wakes up and they have a nice chat mentioning, among other things a person named Nina. Dun dun dun. She figures out that he's guarding her and comes down for a chat with some tea. We confirm that she's a governess/nanny. The Doctor talks about how people are getting trapped in the wifi. Because Clara makes a joke about Twitter, the Doctor realizes she's been hacked to know about computers. I know I'm going to get some criticism here, but that's the most unrealistic part of the episode.

Anyway, the Doctor tries to get Clara to go in the TARDIS, she makes some innuendo, then they realize that  there are Spoonheads about. Also a plane in going to crash into them, because that's the most effective way to stop your enemies. They run into the TARDIS, land on the plane and run down the plane to the cockpit. At no point does Clara spill her tea. She needs special mention for this because it was very bumpy. They stop the plane from crashing, and block the plane's wifi so the pilots can fly it.

The bad guys meanwhile are confused about where the box went. The Doctor explains to Clara that the TARDIS also travels in time, so they can get breakfast. I liked that he passed off the teleportation as a magic trick. I also like how he rides the bike out of the TARDIS leaving the doors open, yet one shot later, the doors are closed again. The bad guys use cell phone pictures to track the Doctor and Clara.

Over breakfast the Doctor tries to track where the bad guys are. Clara asks if he's an alien. This would be an intelligent question if it wasn't for the fact that he told her this while they were on the plane. He asks why she's just a nanny. She changes the subject by fighting with him for the laptop so she can track the bad guys. He goes to get coffee. Oh and he calls being a nanny Victorian dun dun dun and there's more flirting/innuendo. The barista gets taken over by the wifi, as does the waitress and the rest of the cafe. Basically they tell the Doctor that he won't win. He runs out to check on Clara who is fine. In fact it's Oswald for the win. Oswin! Dun dun dun.

Anyway, bad guy boss lady shows off. Again, all she basically says is "I'm awesome and you can't stop me". Meanwhile, Clara hacks the webcams to take pictures of the minions. Then she looks at their Facebooks because they all put down where they work because they are dumb. Oh and the bad guy has a cool line about how her employer loves humanity because "No one loves cattle like Burger King". Boss lady learns there's a problem. The Doctor comes out to Clara who has tracked them down. BUT TWIST! It's a Spoonhead. She gets downloaded.

The real Doctor shows up. He is upset when he realizes what's happened. He starts riding on his awesome bike to the pointy building where the bad guys work. The bad guy is overconfident and thus doesn't even really try to stop the Doctor. He then uses his anti-gravity motorbike to ride up the building and break in to boss lady's office. "Excuse me, I believe there's someone to see me...Sorry about the draft." The Doctor wants Clara back. They can't free her without freeing everyone. This means that all the people without bodies will be dead. She refuses until the Doctor motivates her by revealing that he stayed with Clara in the cafe and sent the Spoonhead!Doctor to her. Boss lady get's uploaded and the Doctor hacks the Lackey so he obeys the order to download the cloud. The wifi turn blue and the Doctor ditches Clara in the cafe for no clear reason.

Unit has taken over the bad guys. Lackey fights with them. The bad guy is revealed to be the Great Intelligence *coughCalledItcough*. He orders boss lady to put everyone to their factory settings. They no longer remember being evil. Some even have totally different jobs. Lackey turns out to be a plumber. This brings into question how they had Facebooks with their jobs. Also, boss lady reverts to a childlike state.

An indeterminate amount of time later, but probably not very long later, the Doctor shows up at Clara's door and asks her to travel with him. She doesn't want to leave the kids she's nannying but you know, time machine, he can bring her back like no time passed. hahahaha. He is only good at controlling the TARDIS with accuracy when the plot demands it. She laughs and innuendos his offer to travel but tells him to ask again the next day. He asks about the leaf in here "101 places to see" book. She says it's page 1. Then the Doctor gets excited and says it's time to find out who she is.

Overall, I liked the episode but I didn't love it. I think the beginning was very strong, but everything else was just weak in comparison. I will say the pacing was very good. There was a lot crammed in, but for the most part it didn't seem that rushed. Other than the scene on the plane which was a lot rushed. So yeah. I'm excited for what's to come.

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