Common Questions People Ask When They Learn You Play Quidditch

I joined my school's Quidditch team in April. Since then I've learned that there are some questions you just get used to answering.

1. How do you play Quidditch?

It's basically the same as wizard Quidditch.
The chaser and keeper play are basically the same, except they use a partially deflated volleyball as a quaffle.
For beaters, obviously the bludgers don't fly around, we use dodgeballs. If we hit someone on the other team, they have to run back to their hoops.
The snitch is a person, rather than a tiny flying ball. They have a sock with a tennis ball in it tucked into their pants and the seeker has to grab the sock. The snitch is also worth 30 points, not 150. For the first 20 minutes the snitch doesn't have to be on the field. He or she can climb a tree, grab a drink at a nearby drink stand, sit in a parked car, you name it, they can do it. After 20 minutes the snitch has to return to the field.

2. But you don't actually fly around, do you?

Well obviously not. You have to keep a broom (or PVC pipe, or bamboo stick) between your legs the whole time. If you dismount, you have to run back to your hoops.

3. What position do you play?

I am a subbing beater. I'm new to the team, so I only go in if one of the starting beaters gets tired and needs a break. Sometimes I start if we don't have enough girls though.

4. What does the number of girls have to do with it?

Not counting the seeker, Muggle Quidditch requires there to be at least two boys and two girls on the field at all times as players. Equality! (The actual rule is a little different, but in most cases this is what it ends up meaning)

5. Have you seen The Internship? They play Quidditch in that movie.

No I have not seen it. Nor do I plan to.